Flame
by DancingInTheWreckageOfTheWorld
Summary: Once, someone had thought that Jem was a steady flame, unwavering and honest.  That same person had them proceeded to destroy that faithfulness and kill that honesty.  And in the end, the strong flame became a melted, ruined candle.


**This is written for the Tower's Of Alicante monthly challenge!**

**Month: January**

**Prompt: And time never told you…**

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><p>"<em>And time never told you…"- Masquerading With The Shadows<em>

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><p>Every day we watch James Carstairs.<p>

We watch as he fights demons, trains with his 'parabati' and 'friend' William.

We also watch as he kills himself everyday with that drug.

And as he kills himself even more falling in love with a girl called Tessa.

We watched as he proposed to Tessa, and we watched as he felt true happiness for the first time.

And while watching, we glanced at his internal clock, watching as the clock showed the number of days he had left before he would have no need of that demon blood.

The number of days before his medicine and his poison finished him off once and for all.

...

We watched when he discovered that Tessa had fallen in love with Will.

And that William Herondale had loved her since he first met her.

And we watched as he realised how he had betrayed by the two people he loved the most.

And while watching, we glanced at his internal clock, and noted that as he learnt that Tessa was now engaged to Will, 10 days vanished from his life.

...

We watched as Charlotte died in childbirth.

We saw him turn to Tessa for comfort only to remember that she had left with Will months ago.

We watched as Jessamine, who had noticed how Jem turned and said Tessa's name before realizing she was gone, began insulting him and Tessa.

And we watched and saw anger cover him, a red poisonous aura, but he remained outwardly calm.

While watching, we glanced at his internal clock and noted that 5 days dropped from his life.

While watching, we noted that Jessamine only had hours to live.

We watched as he snuck into Jessamine's room and killed her and buried her.

We saw his aura, a deep red, (his deep anger against Will and Tessa, Jessamine for her harsh words and Charlotte for dying, and for the unborn child who killed Charlotte) a dark purple, (his feelings of betrayal. It was not usual for a colour to be fixed onto anyone's aura, but on Jem's the deep purple was like a cloak on him. Permanent, and scarring.) a deep blue (his sadness at Will and Tessa's actions. And once again, the blue had been permanently fixed onto him.) and the faintest hues of green .

But there was one colour, that surpassed them all.

That made all the other deep, dark colours pale in comparison.

Black.

The colour of death.

And it wasn't a cloak or something fixed, permanent and scarring on James.

It _was_ him.

And while watching him bury Jessamine, we saw that he had only fourteen days left to live.

...

We watched as Henry, who couldn't cope with Charlotte's death and the running of the Institute; killed himself.

He had taken a knife, and killed himself.

As James had stood there, we watched his thoughts.

One part was in shock.

The other part was thinking that this was all too predictable.

He had fallen to pieces after Charlotte's death, he had been overwhelmed by the responsibility of running the Institute, he had gone into shock when Jessamine was declared missing, he had faced withdrawal symptoms from not being able to invent.

It was natural that he should break.

And while we watched James's thoughts, we noted that as James saw Henry bleeding at what used to be Charlotte's desk, his internal clock showed only seven days left to live.

...

We watched as James ran away, with only his box of demon blood and the ring he gave to Tessa.

We watched as the once light green turned dark, a symbol of madness.

And his internal clock showed that his life would end soon, while the black grew darker and darker.

James had five days left to live.

We watched as he had spent his first three in a 'bar', getting 'drunk' and 'high'.

And now as he lay, his second day of life, fully sober on the floor of a dirty alley with his pants down in an ocean of blood and semen; he saw _them._

Tessa and Will together holding each other.

He gave a little scream of rage and the black and the greens of his aura intensified, eclipsing all other colours.

And we watched as his scream had woken up the other inhabitants of the alley, he was shoved over and a boy pulled his pants down and thrust himself into James.

And we noted, that his internal clock showed one day left.

...

We watched as James woke up the next morning, once again covered in blood and semen.

He dragged himself up, and grabbed his box of demon blood.

We glanced at his internal clock, and saw minutes left.

And we continued watching, as he drank all the demon blood in his box and died, in torturous agony, while screaming out the name's Tessa and Will.

And then, his aura and internal clock faded away.

...

Once, someone had thought that James was a steady flame, unwavering and honest.

That same person had them proceeded to destroy that faithfulness and kill that honesty.

And in the end, the strong flame became a melted, ruined candle.

Perhaps, we could have warned James.

In a dream maybe, or sent a messenger.

But then again, we are time, and we never tell….


End file.
